Innermost Thoughts

Hi!

It’s been such a long time for me not to post my writing. Any writings? Not really. Ive been so much faithful with twitter now and I see that people keep following (thank goodness) so I keep doing that. 

For the last 5 months, my life has changed. So fast. Relax, I’m not gonna frown and tell the sad story of it, yet I’m gonna gladly tell the world how wonderful it is to be back. Yes, back. I am back. From what? 

You see, sometimes people become someone else not in short period time. Not such as, you went to lame party and you were trying so hard that you were having so much time. Then you got home and told people how boring the party was. No no no. Not sort of. 

Back to the high school, I was a control freak. Now still, but not as much as when I was in high school. But yea, I was. I wanted everything to be managed. And I didnt throw jokes. I only laughed at jokes. I loved to talk but only if I needed to. I was not a geek but I was such a serious person, like, If you say it you mean it. I still love my social life, I had lots of friends and I loved them. But I didnt go with the flow. And there was the time when I felt like I was tired. Just some kinda feeling that I wanted to change but I didnt know how.

Then, I went to university. And everything’s changed………………………

I was not the person I had been before. Everything became vice versa. I explored things and the universe seemed like support me. At that time I thought that this was the real me and I was like, I’m going to be like this forever. It’s so much fun! From the way that I thought, the way I hanging with friends, the way I bought things, the way I solved problems. Everything. I went with the flow. More chill and relax. I didnt plan things. I didnt tell people to shut up in cinema. I didnt set my alarm to wake up. If I didnt wake up then it meant God didnt want me to go school today, better to help Mom. 

And suddenly something happend makes me pull the handbrake from such a long long journey. Just something. For what had happend was fun, but that was too dangerous. I did drive without seeing the signs. You may be bad, but still you gotta take control of it. 

And now I dont mind if someone still call me a control freak or anything. In fact, I dont care of what people saying anyway. The most important is, Ive learned my lesson and it was so so worth it. I never regret things. And I’m proud of who I am now that I’ve been there. 

But the most of all, Thank God, I am back. In a good way.

Love, Dit.